wow xanga, it's been awhile. i don't go on here anymore and for some reason i did, i read all my old posts. things have changed so incredibly much since that last post almost a year ago today.

i'm in college now, in missouri. it's way different than minot was, but i like it. it was nice to get away from everything there and cut the old ties. i'll admit it's hard to be on my own(as alone as you can be with a roommate) but i have to learn somehow. my procrastination hasn't gotten better, it's gotten worse. i should actually be typing up a newsletter for a bullshit class right now but instead i decided to write something that no one will probably read, but thats ok.

i like a boy. he's really nice. he makes me smile. oh, and i'm texting him right now too.

bowling is great, i love my team. the level of bowling here is so much better and something i needed and wanted. we went into the season being ranked 4th which is pretty cool. our first tournament was this past weekend and i got to dress varsity.

i guess things are starting to fall into place. maybe i'll keep you updated, maybe not. i'm taking things day by day now. but really, i have to start this damn newsletter. GAR.

i feel anxious and ahead of the game. i applied to college on halloween. people tell me it takes 6-8 weeks to process an application, i think 6-8 days is long enough! i want to know how much it'll cost and who my roomie will be. i want to know that things will be different. i want to know that i'm going to be ok on my own.

i need my bowling to keep going as well as it has been lately. i need you to keep being there for me. i need to stop relying on you before i get in over my head. i need to do what's best for me and maybe start doing my homework. i need a change.

hit me with your best shot.

i wish i could make you understand.

everyone knows i'm in over my head.

it feels like summer is going by way too fast. in a little over a month, i'll be officially starting my senior year.

it feels like just yesterday i was starting my freshman year, walking into what i had then deemed "the unknown". i made some of the most unforgettable friends who i shared the most unforgettable memories with. the first love, the first real heartbreak. freshman year taught me so much about myself. it made me who i am today.

sophomore year. WOW. easiest way to sum that up. a failed relationship with a best friend started the year, and a waste of time relationship ended the year. new friends saved my year.

junioryearsuckedalotofass.

senior snaps in 20ish days, this is hitting me so hard.